Concept of marriage - A REMINDER

Assalamualykum Wr Wb


My dear readers , when the topic  of Marriage comes in mind , there are many people who forgot the concept of it , so here I am to remind those who forgot and to let people know who are unaware of the topic ' MARRIAGE' ! 

Marriage is a topic which is a vast one , its not a ceremony , but it's responsibility which has to be made by both the couples completing the right's (huqooq) of each other .

Marriage in the eyes of QUR'AN:

Allah says in Surat Nur: "Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female servants. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from his favours. Allah is Bountiful and Knowing." Qu'ran 24:32

Marriage in the eyes of HADITH:

Our beloved Prophet has made the concept of marriage so important and meaningful for us, as Aishah (may Allah be please with her) reported that the Messenger of Allah(peace be upon him) had stated that: "Marriage is a Sunnah of mine, and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of my followers."

West entraps the youth and mainly the muslims. WHY ?
I will start from marriages taken as in the west, because as I am a youth I know well what attracts the youth right now and that is the western influence. I came to this topic because I really thought about this before coming to know about my madrasa, I was really living in this darkness of following western side than my own religion. The illuminated deen side, and I feel so ashamed to share this that I was following mostly what the west follows and I had considered the conception of marriage as a means of destruction of my career, my future & my freedom !!
Nowadays in the west, marriage is given no preference. Couples want to stay together but they don't want to name their relation into marriage mainly because they are "scared of commitment"!
Well it took me sometime to understand this topic, that, why do people run away from marriage? Why is this concept of MARRIAGE so burdensome for people to understand?

When I did a some research after listening to different lectures on the topic, I came to know that 80% of people hate marriage. In fact they prefer living together but they deny getting married to each other !!The main reason of not marrying, is because of fearing for losing their privacy and getting burdened by loads of responsibilities. this doesn't make any sense!  

Most of the reason why people avoid marriages and goes into relationship is because , they wanna be educated enough to make their own career , but they don't want to take up responsibilities of a husband or kids. Another thing I want to drag your attention towards is that, our cultures have made marriage so impossible for us or may I say, our desires of having a big budget marriage and making it a PRICELESS MEMORY, is what becomes a big conflict for the youth. Some people avoid marriage because it will cost a fortune. Some people avoid marriage because they don't have finance RIGHT NOW, and hence they get into relationships !! This saddens me more. We are making marriage difficult on ourselves where as our prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalam made the marriage so easy for us that the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wasallam has stated, "Marriage is the basis for blessings and children are an abundance of mercy." (Al-Kabaair Lith-thahabi)

Choosing a spouse:

Another topic which goes in our heads. When we decide for marriage we see his/her appearance, his/her way of talking , education, his/her family background, his/her salary, and etc etc .....the list never ends !
We must consider this beautiful hadith in regards of choosing a spouse. "A woman is married for her deen, her wealth or her beauty. You must go for the one with deen, may your hands be in the dust! (if you fail to heed)" [Muslim]
"Choose carefully for your seed. Marry those who are equivalent (or "qualified") and give to them in marriage." [Ibn Majah, others and Sahih]
"If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied with comes to you, marry to him. If you do not do so, there will be trials in the earth and a great deal of evil." [At-Tirmidhi and others and it is hassan]
"Marry the loving/friendly, the child-bearing for I shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers on Qiyamah." Ahmad, Abu Dawud and others and it is [Sahih]

I don't go against the beauty , but one shouldn't see only beauty because beauty fades eventually but the personality won't. 

'Umar ibn Al-Khattab once said: "Do not force your young girls to marry an ugly man, for they also love what you love."
Ibn Abidin (a famous faqih from last century) said: "The woman should choose a man who is religious, of good character, generous and of ample wealth. She should not marry an evildoer. A person should not marry his young daughter to an old man and an ugly man but he should marry her to one similar."

How to celebrate the weddings?

extravagant wedding

I would like to focus on the topic of how to celebrate the event of wedding, not with costly dresses, fashionable jewellery, perfect marriage halls, beautiful photography, dancing or music, and usually a line that I hear mostly from my back country " a marriage of so dhoom- dham that everybody should remember it". And to waste so much money they have lines saying "wedding happens only once , then why not to celebrate it on big budget ''Why has everybody forgotten that if you have a pair of shoes and you buy another just for the sake of your desire then you are doing extravagance? (Israaf )
z
Which has so strong ayahs in Qur'an:
"(And eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes not the wasteful.) "With food and drink.'' Ibn Jarir commented on Allah's statement,(Certainly He (Allah) likes not the wasteful.) ". 

extravagant wedding

Allah the Exalted says that He does not like those who trespass the limits on an allowed matter or a prohibited matter, those who go to the extreme over what He has allowed, allow what He has prohibited, or prohibit what He has allowed. But, He likes that what He has allowed be considered as such (without extravagance) and what He has prohibited be considered as such. This is the justice that He has commanded.

My dear readers I really want the concept of marriage to be understood well. Marriage is not an amusement or just a function to attend or a memory saved in pictures. The main concept of marriage that ALLAH subhanawatallah gave us is:
"And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficent for His creatures needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).[al-Noor 24:32] "

"Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous of your male and female servants. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from his favours. Allah is Bountiful and Knowing." Qu'ran 24:32
I know this change of marriage like our beloved Prophet Sallalahu alaihi wasallam did takes a huge courage as people call those who follow sunnah as 'backward', but everybody forgot the reward of following sunnah!

"And obey Allah and the Messenger, that you may be shown mercy. (Aal `Imran 3:132)"

And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger, these are with those upon whom Allah has bestowed favors from among the prophets and the truthful and the martyrs and the good, and a goodly company are they! (An-Nisaa’ 4:69)

But I really wish that people hasten eachother in following sunnah , in gaining good deeds , as I include myself in it ! May ALLAH subhanawatallah give us all hidayah and taufeeq to do Amal on it , Ameen !
With the prayers that everybody be helpful with my this topic of our blog , in sha Allah :)

JazakiaAllah hu khairan for reading. Make sure you Rate, Share and Follow us. If you have similar views please do comment

MARITAL DISTRESS!

Marital distress is one of the most common and disturbing human problems 

1. The problem mainly occurs when there are misunderstandings between husband and wife. 

Whatever one wants to share with the other should be honest and very clear to the topic. To truly know another, we must be interested in knowing how they exactly feel and not be selfish. The problem occurs mostly when one says “you never understood me” If we listened as well as we spoke, really would make things better. 

2. Another distress occurs when we are ungrateful. 

We complain and complain about unfulfilled expectations, expecting things over and over again, and getting disappointed for life and being ungrateful.
E.g- Husband brings everything his wife asks for, just forgets one thing then the wife goes like “you never did anything for me” This is ungratefulness
E.g- Wife cooks delicious food every time, once the salt destructed the food, Husband yells and says “you never make good food”
These things Should be avoided. Always be thankful, keep smiling and avoid unnecessary yelling. 

 3. Not giving Wife her Haqq and not giving Husband his Haqq- 

It is forbidden for a woman to refuse her Husband’s sexual desires. Whenever he desires sexual contact, she must not refuse him, unless she has a valid Islamic excuse.

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her. (Sahih Muslim, No. 1436) 

4. Don’t delve into your spouse’s past- 

Any problems related to past relationships will cause married life to be poisoned by jealousy, taunts, blaming, being suspicious etc. It only matters the most when the person hasn't changed, if he/she is changed then just LET IT GO! Its Allah who judges. It was a mistake, got to learn some new good things after such horrible experiences in the past. Forgive, be happy and pray for patience.

“Verily, the shaitaan flows through man the flowing of blood. And indeed, i feared that he would cast evil into your hearts (ie, evil suspicion).” Reported by Bukhari 3281

5. Cleanliness and Adornment is a MUST! 

Cleanliness plays an important role in ones life, even after getting married one must maintain their hygiene and be neat and clean. Islam teaches us to maintain a high level of both inner purity and outward personal hygiene. A wife must never forget to be well dressed up when the husband is home. She should always take care of her hygiene, ie. Clipping nails, remove pubic hair, take proper shower, apply musk and wear neat elegant clothes. Same goes to the Husbands- women don’t like it when men look dirty, uncombed hair, hair under arms, smelly. Should be avoided!


"Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean." [2: 22]

My Facebook page

RIGHTS OF CHILDREN IN ISLAM

The Prophet (Saws) said to`Ali (R.A.):
O`Ali, there are as many rights of children incumbent upon parents as there are rights of parents incumbent upon children.There are many important turning points in human life - right from birth to adulthood - in which a wrong step may prove fatal for happiness and success - both of this world and of the life hereafter. Most important is education and character-building. Here are a few sign-posts concerning these two aspects

NAME:
Amir al-mu'minin, `Ali ibn Abi Talib (R.A.) said: The first beneficence of a parent towards his child is to give him a good name; therefore, you should name your child with a good name.
The Prophet (s.a.w.s) used to emphasize this aspect of life so much that Al-Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said: ”The Apostle of Allah used to change the bad names of people and places.”
It is a fact that good names may have a good influence on the mind of a person. A child hears his name day and night; and it is reasonable to believe that the meaning of that name subconsciously strengthens those characteristics which are implied in that name. of course, it does not mean that no evil person has a good name. What is emphasized here is the fact that a name has a psychological effect on the person, provided it is not countermanded by rearing or society.
A bad name has one more tangible evil effect. Whenever that name is announced, the person will feel embarrassment and the name will become a source of constant irritation, effecting his outlook of society.

                                     




It is recommended that the child should be named after the Holy Prophet and his family. Strangely enough, nowadays people name their children after film actors and actresses. This trend points to a far deeper malady of our society.
It shows that now our daily life and dominating thoughts have lost their connection with the founder of Islam and his family. Now we are glorifying those whose lives are diametrically opposed to Islamic tenets; and who depend on haram (forbidden) actions for their livelihood. By giving our children the names of such anti-Islamic persons, we are teaching our children not to care about Islam in their lives.
                                        


JazakiaAllah hu khairan for reading. Make sure you Rate, Share and Follow us. If you have similar views please do comment